Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Three to One...Not Great Odds, Right?

Adam works a lot. This is nothing new. But since I'm on day 3 of 7 days of not only waking up in, but also going to sleep in an empty bed, I'm a little more bitter than usual. The thing is, my kids are smart. And when you have smart kids, it doesn't take them long to realize that there's not enough of me to go around, which gives them plenty of time to get into whatever they put those smart little minds to. They're opportunists. And when I say they, I mean Kaelyn and Addison (for the most part at least). I'm not sure how they go from sweet

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to the opposite of sweet in 0.07 seconds, but they do. Which brings me to tonight.

I hope I don't jinx it, but I'm pretty sure Kaelyn is out of her "throwing things in the toilet" phase. Addison is a different story. While going over Bryce's homework this evening, I heard the toilet flush. Then I heard it flush again. Then I heard it flush yet again. When I walk into the bathroom, I find Addison standing over the toilet, and (huge shocker) there was something in it.

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The Elmo towel. Last night in the bath, the girls argued over the Ninja Turtle towel. Long story short, Kaelyn won, Addison had to use Elmo, and apparently this evening she was determined to not have to do that again. Anyway, as a punishment, for putting something in the toilet that didn't belong in there, I decided that she wouldn't be having dessert after dinner. Fine. Life goes on.

Fast forward a couple hours...dinner is done, baths are done, and the kids and I are making posters for Bryce's fun run at his school. Addison comes running up to me and shoves her face in mine.
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She obviously wanted to show me that she got into something (presumably ice cream) that she shouldn't have.

I walk into the kitchen, and the first thing I see is the drawer open.
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Next, my favorite ice cream on the floor.

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And then the aftermath.

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I'm not sure what's worse:
1)The fact that she knowingly ate ice cream when she knew she wasn't supposed to,
2) That she then bragged about it instead of trying to cover it up like her sister obviously would have done, or
3) ALL OF MY BUTTER PECAN ICE CREAM IS GONE!
On a bright note, we made some cute posters.
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Mom Words

Since becoming a parent, do you ever think about the random words that come out of your mouth and somehow manage to form a sentence? Today, as I was talking to the children, I did just that. Being a mom means a complete change in your vocabulary. Sometimes, it's a simple change. What used to be a bathroom is now a potty, and instead of discussions about current events, you talk to your peers about Dora's latest mission. Sometimes though, it's a more complex combination of words that once said, you stop for a minute and think to yourself ..."did I seriously just say that?" Never, in my wildest dreams, had I ever imagined the words "Well Kaelyn, your DS doesn't work because you peed on it" coming out of my mouth in that order. Four other random mom word combinations said today:

"Girls, I'm not kidding, tell me where you put the butter"
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"Well that makes sense, of course you hid the butter in your favorite hiding spot next to the empty Gatorade bottle, pants, and candy wrappers."
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"I'm sorry Bryce, but scotch tape isn't going to fix your trophy."
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And lastly, "Seriously, did I just hot glue that feather to the carpet?"
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Thursday, October 21, 2010

I sleep in the 1' x 1' square in the middle.


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I guess that's better than sleeping with Addison's foot in my face.

Monday, October 18, 2010

So... I noticed that a tassel was missing from my kitchen valance.

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And then I found this under the kitchen table.

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Interesting.

Monday, October 11, 2010

This is Why We Don't Have Nice Things

If you know us, then you know that complete chaos is a regular occurrence in our household. This is partly because we put way too much on our plate, but mostly because we're all slightly, or more than slightly (Adam) crazy. Whenever chaos occurs, I try to grab my camera and snap some evidence. Sometimes I fail. A couple days ago, we had a canoe strapped to the top of our rented minivan, and I'm still kicking myself for not getting a picture of Adam not only trying to untangle it, but trying to untangle it in the rain. Sometimes, however, I succeed. For instance:

Although my couch is red, it's not quite the same color red as the wine Addison dumped all over it.

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Addison had her new Sketcher light up shoes all of about 2 days before Kaelyn threw one over the fence. Luckily, they didn’t turn their sprinklers on before we got it back.
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The terrible twosome often like to hide things so they can come back to them when it's convenient. And by convenient, I mean a time when I'm not paying attention. This was found by grandma under the upstairs couch.

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The reason she found it? Addison, never guessing that grandma would tell on her, started eating it right infront of her.

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Finding the girls stuffing sweets in their mouth happens quite often. Once, when I went to get them out of bed, I found them both eating Oreos. When they refused to tell me where they were hidden, I had to go looking. I found them hidden under a pair of pants in Kaelyn's dresser. Another time, while I was cooking dinner, they smuggled a box of capri suns off the counter top and into their bedroom. The next morning, I found 10 empty juice boxes. Here's Addison eating candy under the dining room table on a random morning. Let's hope my little addicts never have a drug problem!

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Last year, Kaelyn and Addison sold cookie dough for a dance fundraiser. While I was talking to a salesman at the front door, they got out the mix, ate whatever chocolate chips that they could, and spread the dry powder all over their legs. Why? I'm not sure. At least it was grandma's cookie dough so we didn't have to offer any refunds.

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While the kids were gone at my parent's house for a week this summer, I did a lot of cleaning. I also found a lot of marker in a lot of random places. Like behind the door in the playroom.

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This one was also in the playroom, behind the toy box.

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This one was found upstairs in the man room, right next to the red wine stains on the wall where Kaelyn karate chopped my mom's wine glass.

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And this one was in my closet, behind my shoes. Seriously, do these kids have any supervision?

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When they're not coloring on walls, they are coloring on the dog.

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And of course, we can't forget the person that now sleeps with Adam and me on our favorite bamboo sheets.

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Bryce, for the most part, is REALLY good, like he always has been. Occasionally, however, there's a sword fight or two in the backyard.

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And this was taken by a random wedding guest BEFORE he had to walk down the aisle.

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Obviously, his dad was watching him.

And this is why we don't have nice things!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Conversation between Adam and the Tweens

So, Adam and I are kid-less for a week, and we decided to go to a Rough Riders game tonight. Adam was "taunting" some tween girls... and the situation ended up a little reversed with a conversation that went something like this:

Girl: Are you gay?

Adam: No.

Girl: Does your mama know you're gay?

Adam: No.

Girl: So, you didn't tell you're mama that you're gay?

Adam: No.

All the tween girls in unison: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Adam: What?

Girl: You wouldn't need to tell your mama that you weren't gay if you weren't gay.

Me: BURNED!!! LOL!

Friday, July 9, 2010

CALIFORNIA!

As the saying goes, what happens at Nana's, stays at Nana's... especially when it involves permanent marker! Somehow, I deleted the picture of the girls' artwork on my mom's coffee table... HUGE BUMMER! Especially since I'm sure she'd love the reminder when she reads this. Anyway, here are the rest of our California highlights. Sorry about the picture quality; they all came from my phone.

After 25 years, numerous baby cousins, 2 nieces and a nephew...uncle Kyle changed his first diaper!
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Then he and Bryce entered into a "who can hold your hands up the longest" contest that lasted almost 30 minutes! Uncle Kyle conceded after Bryce started crying from the pain but still wouldn't put his hands down. What a good uncle he is :)

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Fitting 3 children into my mom's prius isn't the best case scenario, but it works.

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Kaelyn likes her piggy the best when it's cold.

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Addison finally made it onto the baby rides at Knott's Berry Farm, where she rode with all the one year olds that are twice her size.

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Obviously, she was really excited about it.

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Addison looked so dang cute and small in her auntie's salon for her first haircut!

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Making Bryce cut his hair for the wedding was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

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Almost as bad as the way Addison felt about fireworks!

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This is the school bus ride that made Kaelyn cry.

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Here are Bryce and Addison riding it while I sat it out with Kaelyn.

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Addison thinks she's a dare devil.

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They DO love each other :)

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And... Although Kaelyn snores like her Daddy, Addison sleeps just like her mom with her mouth and her eyes wide open... poor girl!

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Since Adam and I never had a real wedding (he hates it when I say that!), we coincidentally never got a matching set of luggage. We have, over the years, acquired quite a few hand me down pieces that have been really well used. My dad brought tie-downs to the airport, and here he is, tying down the smart cart. Probably the most white trash move made from an Agapinan... hope Adam isn't wearing off on you dad!

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California we miss you already!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Yep, that's Dora's coffee table in my pina colada.



Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Terrorists

How can two people so sweet....


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Be responsible for so much destruction?

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Last Night's Dinner Conversation

Me: Adam, what do we have from Netflix?
Adam: Funny People
Bryce: Daddy, you should be on Netflix
(adam's face lights up)
Adam: Oh yeah, Bryce. I should be on netflix because I'm funny, right?
Bryce: Well not your jokes. Your clothes.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

All of the first graders at Bryce's elementary school are in charge of planting the garden this year. We were assigned flowers last week, and because I'm me, I waited until the night before they were due to take the kids to pick them out. Unfortunately, they were sold out of all the small ones so I had to buy what they did have in stock - 2 HUGE baskets of flowers.

Me: Bryce, we're about to spend a fortune on these flowers.

Bryce: Well mommy, I guess that's what you get for waiting till the last minute.

TOUCHE!

Monday, April 12, 2010

My Girls...

It was a typical night here tonight - crazy, but the usual crazy...no one gave the laptop a bath or anything. Kaelyn did pee in her pants, but that has become an everyday occurrence since she knows it really pisses me off. We're trying a "one pair of panties a day" rule. I hope Adam doesn't blame me if she grows up and decides that she doesn't like to wear panties :)

Anyway, let's get to the funny stuff.

Addison dumped out a whole box of goldfish. I asked her to pick them up and she refused. I told her that I wasn't going to give her her dinner until she picked up the goldfish. She thought about it and still refused. Bryce and Kaelyn ate. She waited patiently in her seat for their leftovers, which I quickly threw away. That made her a little mad, but not mad enough to pick up the goldfish. I got her down from the table, told her I'd give her her dinner when she cleaned up, and went about my business.

About 15 minutes later, I realized that all of the big goldfish have disappeared, and there are only crumbs left...
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Boy, was I proud... FINALLY, one of them listened!
Me: Addison, you cleaned up the goldfish! What a good girl!
Addison: No, Cali did.
Me: But Cali's outside?

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She let Cali in to clean up her mess. YES, that means my TWO year old now outsmarts me also.

Me: Well, let's go eat dinner
Addison: (she raises her hands up and screams) YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! And runs to the table
Victory was hers, but at least she got them cleaned up :)



This conversation with Kaelyn happened simultaneously to the goldfish situation:
Kaelyn: Mommy, can I have a prite?
Me: Sure Kaelyn, you've been really good today, so go ahead and get a sprite to drink with dinner.

About a half hour passes and I see her drinking away, but since I was already preoccupied with the whole Addison/goldfish situation, I wasn't paying too much attention.

Me: Kaelyn, what do you want to drink with dinner?
Kaelyn: Mommy, I already have a prite, remember?

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Well, it wasn't quite a sprite... but it was green. Needless to say, she's still wandering the halls at 10pm... wonder when she's going to crash.