Nothing That a Good Martini Won't Cure!

Fall Cleaning

2011-09-23T23:57:00.004-05:00

In case you haven't heard, Adam is in Baghdad for a year. Me, being the optimist that I am ;), have decided to make the best out of the situation by making it my mission to rid my house of all of Adam's hoarding. He has, in fact, acquired quite a few things in the 5 years that we've been in Texas. Today, I was going through Bryce's school work, deciding what I should and should not keep, when I came across this journal entry - a DEFINITE keeper!

In case you can't read it, is says:

January 5, 2010

My favrite thing I did during Chrismas Brake is selobrating New Year in Calofornya. We had over 34 people come over for New Year! We nerly exploded the back yard! And then the confety came out along with sily string. The adolts played flip cup all night.

Awesome with a capital A! And also extremely grateful that he did not mention the beer pong!

What do your children do all night?

2011-09-13T22:10:00.004-05:00

Apparently mine eat pistachios...

And shave.

My Addison

2011-08-22T14:31:00.004-05:00

Do you think it would have taken just as much energy for her to put her shoes away in her closet like she was asked?

2011-05-15T20:29:00.003-05:00

Addison: Mommy, I need water.

Me: Can you use your stool?

Addison: No my baby is on it.

Kaelyn: Um, mommy, that's your toothbrush.

Me: Addison, quit using my toothbrush!

Addison: I want to use the toothbrush my baby used.

Awesome.

Spring Break - Kaelyn and Addison Style

2011-05-02T14:49:00.002-05:00

Where do they come up with this stuff?

2011-04-18T20:16:00.003-05:00

Wii bowling is one of our favorite things to do. Kaelyn wasn't doing so great tonight, and obviously, it was the character's fault and not her own.

Kaelyn: Bryce, I don't want to be her. I want to be that boy in the white shirt you made me.

Bryce: Kaelyn, that wasn't a boy, it was a really ugly girl.

To be ugly, or to be sucky? Decisions, decisions ;)

Caught in the act...Pictures from my phone.

2011-04-12T22:02:00.006-05:00

Only in a California Walmart will you find a low jack on a shopping basket. (and yes, they all looked like this) We visited Knott's Berry Farm in California. Kaelyn had a melt down. (huge surprise) It's awesome that Bryce makes his own waffles in the morning. Not so awesome? Drinking milk out of a scotch glass. Here is Kaelyn melting down at her first t-ball practice. (again, huge surprise) Love is...teaching your daughter to pee in the lake. Adam "racing" Uncle Bobby is just a bad idea all around. Kaelyn's "talent". I hope it's never used in a spring break atmosphere. You know your last name is Earls when your ride home from California looks like this. And this. Little Mama...wallet in one pocket, cell phone in the other. LOL! Kaelyn throwing a fit at basketball practice. (are we noticing a trend here?) You know your last name is Earls when your drive to Kansas looks like this. When I fell asleep he put the diaper cake in between his feet. That's how much room we had in our trunk. And... Kaelyn dressed herself for picture day. Awesome. If you're planning on buying a class picture, sorry about your luck!

Kaelyn Plays T-Ball!

2011-03-28T22:09:00.005-05:00

Adam, as her coach, had to come up with a team name. He picked the Road Runners. Why? Because the road runner is the Texas state bird. Well that seemed logical. And she looks really cute in her uniform!

PS. The mocking bird is the state bird of Texas.

My Bathroom is Flooded

2011-03-04T09:33:00.002-06:00

But at least the barbies are clean.

Just Another Night in Paradise

2011-03-04T08:51:00.002-06:00

2011-02-28T09:31:00.003-06:00

Adam changed the battery in my car yesterday. This morning, when I took Bryce to school, this is what my dashboard looked like.

Will someone PLEASE tell him that he doesn't know how to fix things?

Conversations in the Car Today

2011-02-17T17:12:00.002-06:00

Bryce: Kaelyn, did you know that some planets have more than one moon and Jupiter has over 60 moons?
Kaelyn: uh-huh.
Bryce: No you didn't.
Kaelyn: Well did you know that everything that's white is white?
Bryce: Yeah.
Kaelyn: No you didn't.

Kaelyn: Bryce do all girls have bigger butts than boys?
Bryce: Yeah.
Kaelyn: You know that you're bigger than me right?
Bryce: Yeah, but if you were the same size as me, your butt would be bigger.
Kaelyn: Oh.

Bryce: Mommy, I don't understand why how dinosaurs became extinct is a mystery. I mean, you can find other kinds of molecules on their bones. Like if it was lava, then their should be lava molecules on their bones. So it shouldn't be a mystery.
Me: (cricket, cricket)
Bryce: I guess if it was a giant eclipse than there would be no molecules.
Me: (cricket, cricket)
Bryce: But if there's no molecules then they should rule out everything that has molecules.
Addison: SCREAM
Me: (relieved to be out of the woods with that one) Addison, what's the problem?
Bryce: What do you mean what's the problem? They always have a problem.
Pause
Bryce: So why do you think no one knows how the dinosaurs became extinct?
Me: I don't know Bryce, maybe when you grow up, you can figure it out.
Bryce: That's a good idea, but what if someone figures it out before me?
Me: Well no one has figured it out yet.
Bryce: That's true. And people in the old days weren't very smart.

Eggs Anyone?

2011-02-06T21:56:00.001-06:00

No? Well how about a beer then?

Three to One...Not Great Odds, Right?

2010-11-10T20:34:00.004-06:00

Adam works a lot. This is nothing new. But since I'm on day 3 of 7 days of not only waking up in, but also going to sleep in an empty bed, I'm a little more bitter than usual. The thing is, my kids are smart. And when you have smart kids, it doesn't take them long to realize that there's not enough of me to go around, which gives them plenty of time to get into whatever they put those smart little minds to. They're opportunists. And when I say they, I mean Kaelyn and Addison (for the most part at least). I'm not sure how they go from sweet

to the opposite of sweet in 0.07 seconds, but they do. Which brings me to tonight.

I hope I don't jinx it, but I'm pretty sure Kaelyn is out of her "throwing things in the toilet" phase. Addison is a different story. While going over Bryce's homework this evening, I heard the toilet flush. Then I heard it flush again. Then I heard it flush yet again. When I walk into the bathroom, I find Addison standing over the toilet, and (huge shocker) there was something in it.

The Elmo towel. Last night in the bath, the girls argued over the Ninja Turtle towel. Long story short, Kaelyn won, Addison had to use Elmo, and apparently this evening she was determined to not have to do that again. Anyway, as a punishment, for putting something in the toilet that didn't belong in there, I decided that she wouldn't be having dessert after dinner. Fine. Life goes on.

Fast forward a couple hours...dinner is done, baths are done, and the kids and I are making posters for Bryce's fun run at his school. Addison comes running up to me and shoves her face in mine.

She obviously wanted to show me that she got into something (presumably ice cream) that she shouldn't have.

I walk into the kitchen, and the first thing I see is the drawer open.

Next, my favorite ice cream on the floor.

And then the aftermath.

I'm not sure what's worse:

1)The fact that she knowingly ate ice cream when she knew she wasn't supposed to,

2) That she then bragged about it instead of trying to cover it up like her sister obviously would have done, or

3) ALL OF MY BUTTER PECAN ICE CREAM IS GONE!

On a bright note, we made some cute posters.

Mom Words

2010-10-26T21:42:00.004-05:00

Since becoming a parent, do you ever think about the random words that come out of your mouth and somehow manage to form a sentence? Today, as I was talking to the children, I did just that. Being a mom means a complete change in your vocabulary. Sometimes, it's a simple change. What used to be a bathroom is now a potty, and instead of discussions about current events, you talk to your peers about Dora's latest mission. Sometimes though, it's a more complex combination of words that once said, you stop for a minute and think to yourself ..."did I seriously just say that?" Never, in my wildest dreams, had I ever imagined the words "Well Kaelyn, your DS doesn't work because you peed on it" coming out of my mouth in that order. Four other random mom word combinations said today:

"Girls, I'm not kidding, tell me where you put the butter"

"Well that makes sense, of course you hid the butter in your favorite hiding spot next to the empty Gatorade bottle, pants, and candy wrappers."

"I'm sorry Bryce, but scotch tape isn't going to fix your trophy."

And lastly, "Seriously, did I just hot glue that feather to the carpet?"

2010-10-21T07:52:00.002-05:00

I sleep in the 1' x 1' square in the middle.

I guess that's better than sleeping with Addison's foot in my face.

So... I noticed that a tassel was missing from my kitchen valance.

2010-10-18T21:45:00.002-05:00

And then I found this under the kitchen table.

Interesting.

This is Why We Don't Have Nice Things

2010-10-11T22:33:00.007-05:00

If you know us, then you know that complete chaos is a regular occurrence in our household. This is partly because we put way too much on our plate, but mostly because we're all slightly, or more than slightly (Adam) crazy. Whenever chaos occurs, I try to grab my camera and snap some evidence. Sometimes I fail. A couple days ago, we had a canoe strapped to the top of our rented minivan, and I'm still kicking myself for not getting a picture of Adam not only trying to untangle it, but trying to untangle it in the rain. Sometimes, however, I succeed. For instance:

Although my couch is red, it's not quite the same color red as the wine Addison dumped all over it.

Addison had her new Sketcher light up shoes all of about 2 days before Kaelyn threw one over the fence. Luckily, they didn’t turn their sprinklers on before we got it back.

The terrible twosome often like to hide things so they can come back to them when it's convenient. And by convenient, I mean a time when I'm not paying attention. This was found by grandma under the upstairs couch.

The reason she found it? Addison, never guessing that grandma would tell on her, started eating it right infront of her.

Finding the girls stuffing sweets in their mouth happens quite often. Once, when I went to get them out of bed, I found them both eating Oreos. When they refused to tell me where they were hidden, I had to go looking. I found them hidden under a pair of pants in Kaelyn's dresser. Another time, while I was cooking dinner, they smuggled a box of capri suns off the counter top and into their bedroom. The next morning, I found 10 empty juice boxes. Here's Addison eating candy under the dining room table on a random morning. Let's hope my little addicts never have a drug problem!

Last year, Kaelyn and Addison sold cookie dough for a dance fundraiser. While I was talking to a salesman at the front door, they got out the mix, ate whatever chocolate chips that they could, and spread the dry powder all over their legs. Why? I'm not sure. At least it was grandma's cookie dough so we didn't have to offer any refunds.

While the kids were gone at my parent's house for a week this summer, I did a lot of cleaning. I also found a lot of marker in a lot of random places. Like behind the door in the playroom.

This one was also in the playroom, behind the toy box.

This one was found upstairs in the man room, right next to the red wine stains on the wall where Kaelyn karate chopped my mom's wine glass.

And this one was in my closet, behind my shoes. Seriously, do these kids have any supervision?

When they're not coloring on walls, they are coloring on the dog.

And of course, we can't forget the person that now sleeps with Adam and me on our favorite bamboo sheets.

Bryce, for the most part, is REALLY good, like he always has been. Occasionally, however, there's a sword fight or two in the backyard.

And this was taken by a random wedding guest BEFORE he had to walk down the aisle.

Obviously, his dad was watching him.

And this is why we don't have nice things!

Conversation between Adam and the Tweens

2010-07-31T22:38:00.002-05:00

So, Adam and I are kid-less for a week, and we decided to go to a Rough Riders game tonight. Adam was "taunting" some tween girls... and the situation ended up a little reversed with a conversation that went something like this:

Girl: Are you gay?

Adam: No.

Girl: Does your mama know you're gay?

Adam: No.

Girl: So, you didn't tell you're mama that you're gay?

Adam: No.

All the tween girls in unison: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Adam: What?

Girl: You wouldn't need to tell your mama that you weren't gay if you weren't gay.

Me: BURNED!!! LOL!

CALIFORNIA!

2010-07-09T19:45:00.004-05:00

As the saying goes, what happens at Nana's, stays at Nana's... especially when it involves permanent marker! Somehow, I deleted the picture of the girls' artwork on my mom's coffee table... HUGE BUMMER! Especially since I'm sure she'd love the reminder when she reads this. Anyway, here are the rest of our California highlights. Sorry about the picture quality; they all came from my phone.

After 25 years, numerous baby cousins, 2 nieces and a nephew...uncle Kyle changed his first diaper!

Then he and Bryce entered into a "who can hold your hands up the longest" contest that lasted almost 30 minutes! Uncle Kyle conceded after Bryce started crying from the pain but still wouldn't put his hands down. What a good uncle he is :)

Fitting 3 children into my mom's prius isn't the best case scenario, but it works.

Kaelyn likes her piggy the best when it's cold.

Addison finally made it onto the baby rides at Knott's Berry Farm, where she rode with all the one year olds that are twice her size.

Obviously, she was really excited about it.

Addison looked so dang cute and small in her auntie's salon for her first haircut!

Making Bryce cut his hair for the wedding was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

Almost as bad as the way Addison felt about fireworks!

This is the school bus ride that made Kaelyn cry.

Here are Bryce and Addison riding it while I sat it out with Kaelyn.

Addison thinks she's a dare devil.

They DO love each other :)

And... Although Kaelyn snores like her Daddy, Addison sleeps just like her mom with her mouth and her eyes wide open... poor girl!

Since Adam and I never had a real wedding (he hates it when I say that!), we coincidentally never got a matching set of luggage. We have, over the years, acquired quite a few hand me down pieces that have been really well used. My dad brought tie-downs to the airport, and here he is, tying down the smart cart. Probably the most white trash move made from an Agapinan... hope Adam isn't wearing off on you dad!

California we miss you already!

2010-05-23T11:36:00.002-05:00

Yep, that's Dora's coffee table in my pina colada.

My Terrorists

2010-05-20T12:20:00.002-05:00

How can two people so sweet....

Be responsible for so much destruction?

Last Night's Dinner Conversation

2010-05-18T08:56:00.002-05:00

Me: Adam, what do we have from Netflix?

Adam: Funny People

Bryce: Daddy, you should be on Netflix

(adam's face lights up)

Adam: Oh yeah, Bryce. I should be on netflix because I'm funny, right?

Bryce: Well not your jokes. Your clothes.

2010-04-21T13:35:00.003-05:00

All of the first graders at Bryce's elementary school are in charge of planting the garden this year. We were assigned flowers last week, and because I'm me, I waited until the night before they were due to take the kids to pick them out. Unfortunately, they were sold out of all the small ones so I had to buy what they did have in stock - 2 HUGE baskets of flowers.

Me: Bryce, we're about to spend a fortune on these flowers.

Bryce: Well mommy, I guess that's what you get for waiting till the last minute.

TOUCHE!

My Girls...

2010-04-12T21:33:00.003-05:00

It was a typical night here tonight - crazy, but the usual crazy...no one gave the laptop a bath or anything. Kaelyn did pee in her pants, but that has become an everyday occurrence since she knows it really pisses me off. We're trying a "one pair of panties a day" rule. I hope Adam doesn't blame me if she grows up and decides that she doesn't like to wear panties :)

Anyway, let's get to the funny stuff.

Addison dumped out a whole box of goldfish. I asked her to pick them up and she refused. I told her that I wasn't going to give her her dinner until she picked up the goldfish. She thought about it and still refused. Bryce and Kaelyn ate. She waited patiently in her seat for their leftovers, which I quickly threw away. That made her a little mad, but not mad enough to pick up the goldfish. I got her down from the table, told her I'd give her her dinner when she cleaned up, and went about my business.

About 15 minutes later, I realized that all of the big goldfish have disappeared, and there are only crumbs left...

Boy, was I proud... FINALLY, one of them listened!
Me: Addison, you cleaned up the goldfish! What a good girl!
Addison: No, Cali did.
Me: But Cali's outside?

She let Cali in to clean up her mess. YES, that means my TWO year old now outsmarts me also.

Me: Well, let's go eat dinner
Addison: (she raises her hands up and screams) YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! And runs to the table
Victory was hers, but at least she got them cleaned up :)

This conversation with Kaelyn happened simultaneously to the goldfish situation:
Kaelyn: Mommy, can I have a prite?
Me: Sure Kaelyn, you've been really good today, so go ahead and get a sprite to drink with dinner.

About a half hour passes and I see her drinking away, but since I was already preoccupied with the whole Addison/goldfish situation, I wasn't paying too much attention.

Me: Kaelyn, what do you want to drink with dinner?
Kaelyn: Mommy, I already have a prite, remember?

Well, it wasn't quite a sprite... but it was green. Needless to say, she's still wandering the halls at 10pm... wonder when she's going to crash.

2010-03-29T20:37:00.002-05:00

Addison's solution to the whole "my mom said no oreos at bedtime" situation?

Bite through them, of course!

And Now, She Can Outsmart Me?

2010-03-28T11:04:00.003-05:00

Kaelyn will be FOUR this summer, and her toddler years are coming to an end... the intentional doing of wrong things like drawing on my sheets and flushing random things down the toilet are getting more and more seldom; HOWEVER, she is getting REALLY awesome at outsmarting me. Yesterday, after an Easter Egg Hunt and a birthday party, I told the kids it was time for "quiet time." Kaelyn and Bryce don't really take naps anymore, so quiet time is essential... I get to have a little break, and it keeps me from calling CPS on myself during the day.

Kaelyn: Mommy, can I have quiet time in the living room? (she wanted to lay on the couch)

Me: Sure, but DO NOT eat any Easter candy. (I figured her reason for wanting to be in the living room was because of its close proximity to the candy drawer.)

Kaelyn: K

And quiet time begins... Addison is napping, Bryce is in his room reading, Kaelyn is on the couch watching a movie, and I am in my room watching TV.

About an hour later, I come out of my room to inform the kids that quiet time is over, and I find Kaelyn lying on the couch eating a sucker.

Me: Kaelyn! I told you no Easter candy!

Kaelyn: This is not Easter candy, I got it from my school!

Apparently, the eye doctor visited her school on Wednesday, and gave the kids suckers, which she hid in the small pocket of her backpack until the time was right. She's such a little opportunist!

Sorry, neighbors, that you live next to "those people."

2010-02-15T17:39:00.004-06:00

Right before Addison spent 4 days in the hospital with RSV and Pneumonia, our washer went out. To ensure a completely sanitized house upon her arrival home, we bought a new one. Where did the old one go? Adam thought it was a GREAT idea to put it in the front yard. While it rained.

It gets better.

After I came home I reminded him that we do not live in the country, and in the suburbs people just don't pile up their crap in the front yard when they're done with it. I told him that it needed to go to the dump or in the garage immediately. Fine, no big deal... UNTIL... while I was at a mom's night out he comes up with the great idea to clean out the garage. After all, he needed to say that he accomplished something while he (and his "stabbed") hand were off work for 2 1/2 weeks. Cleaning out the garage is a great idea. Cleaning out the garage at midnight while the weather is below freezing... I guess it's still an OK idea. Cleaning out the garage at MIDNIGHT with the door open and the radio blasting on a Wednesday night... not such a great idea. (Sorry Neighbors!) An even worse idea than that? Piling ALL the crap in the front yard that you "plan" on taking to the goodwill. Not just a small pile. A HUGE pile! And then it snowed. So, all of our crap was outside covered in snow for all of my lovely neighbors to look at while they built snowman with their children. Adam's answer? "Atleast our garage is clean!" Does it amaze you all as much as it amazes me? Just when I think he takes his whitetrash hickville-ness to the ultimate level, he one-ups himself. So, sorry babe that you spent your Wednesday night piling up all that crap, and your Thursday night piling it all back in the garage. And sorry neighbors that you had to witness the whole situation. I wish I had a picture to share!

The Christmas Highlights... better late than never, right?

2010-01-31T12:04:00.000-06:00

The kids were spoiled, like always. We usually celebrate early with either the Earls or the Agapinan crew, but this year they got the majority of their presents on Christmas morning, which meant absolute craziness!

Bryce was very organized, treasuring every present, reading the tags, thanking whoever it was from, throwing away the trash, and neatly stacking his presents up so he could keep track of them.

He was VERY excited about the fancy pillow nana and papa bought him, because he's really a 7 year old in a 30 year old's body.

Kaelyn is a little more like her mama.

That's her, right smack in the middle of that disorganized mess. All clothes and shoes had to be immediately tried on, and the makeup needed to be applied right away also. She really liked the roller coaster that santa brought Addison.

Addison was a BIG fan of the jump-o-leen that Santa brought Kaelyn... guess Santa got things backwards this year! She also liked her chocolate sucker, sword, and Dora beanie babies.

Other than that, she really wasn't a big fan of opening presents.

Adam and I received a bottle of Dom Perignon, and to keep up with our white trash-ness, we drank it out of plastic cups.

Merry Christmas!

Just Another Day in Paradise...

2010-01-31T10:34:00.002-06:00

My washing machine is broken. This is a problem for the obvious reasons... socks and underwear are necessary items, sports jerseys and dance leotards really should be washed after every use...etc, etc. The washing machine situation is a MAJOR issue in MY house for other reasons, such as:

*Addison's poop smearing phase makes things really smelly

*Kaelyn's favorite thing to do when she's mad at me is pee in her clothes

*Bryce is that kid with a constant bloody nose

*And although Adam thinks he's saving me time by wearing his socks for five days strait, it's really not the best idea for anyone involved.

Yesterday, we left the house at 8:30 to meet Adam for breakfast and do some laundry at a friend's house. She was nice enough to start it for me so by the time we got back from breakfast (which, by the way, consisted of only ONE meltdown, a definite record!) I only had a few loads to go. I determined that the best idea would be to go strait to Bryce's basketball game from her house, that way I would have time to get most of the laundry done. I asked Bryce to change into his newly clean basketball jersey and mandatory white undershirt, while I was folding. About 20 minutes before it was time to leave, Bryce gets a bloody nose and wipes it on his white shirt. Great, now we have to book it to make it home, change his shirt, and make it to the game on time. I rush the kids out of the house and into the car. When we get home, we run in, and I instruct Bryce to change his shirt while I grab snacks for the girls and a gatorade for Bryce. He comes out of his room, jacket zipped up, and we leave. We make it to the game on time... HALLELUJAH! Bryce takes off his jacket, and he has on a white shirt, but it appears that he forgot to put his jersey on over that shirt. So we are jersey-less with about 5 minutes until game time. I go talk to the coach, who informs me that it's not a big deal, they can share jerseys. WHEW! I look at Bryce, who is warming up with his team at this point, and see his pants sitting on the floor by him. His jacket, however, is missing. The jacket that I JUST bought him, because he lost his other one at school.

Me: Bryce, where's your jacket

Bryce: I gave it to you.

I look down at what I'm holding. Two fruit snacks, Kaelyn's gatorade, Bryce's pants that I picked up off the floor, car keys, a magnidoodle, and a nintendo DS... but no jacket.

Me: Bryce, you didn't give it to me, I was talking to your coach.

Bryce: Oh, well I set it down right there and now it's gone.

With my family, all things are possible. Apparently, that includes jackets disappearing into thin air. Since it was 30 degrees outside yesterday, we were in luck that 2 weeks ago he also lost ANOTHER jacket at the game, and the coach happened to have it in her car. Yes, I know, this is A LOT of jackets... I think we're up to four jacket fatalities this winter.

To top it off, I called Adam when I got home to have a mini breakdown/crying session before we headed out to the two birthday parties of the evening, and his friend answered. Apparently, Adam left his phone in the dispatcher office. Like father, like son.

2010-01-11T19:40:00.005-06:00

So apparently, everyone at school has a Gingerbread Man on the wall... everyone that is, except for Bryce. Why? Because he made a Gingerbread Vampire. He explained to me that even though Miss Lomeli didn't tell him beforehand, Gingerbread Vampires are not allowed at school. So he had to take his home... which didn't phase him one bit. It's a little troublesome for me though.

All Kaelyn Wanted for Christmas was some Big Girl Makeup...

2010-01-09T10:42:00.004-06:00

Not the kid kind... real makeup, like mom's.

Uncle Kyle came through with some Covergirl...

It appears to be a little dark for her complexion...
At least she can pretend like she's Papa!

Well... We can't buy slurpees at that 7-11 ever again...

2009-12-27T23:00:00.002-06:00

The 7-11 situation actually occurred a few weeks ago, but as I settled in to share a couple Christmas pictures, I figured that I might as well fill you all in on a fun little trip that we had... SPOILER ALERT: nothing about this one has to do with Addison or Kaelyn (I know, I can't believe it either!)

So, our bank, Navy Federal, allows us to use 7-11 ATM's free of charge. Slurpees were always a childhood favorite of mine, and my kids have grown to love them quite a bit also. While running errands, I stopped into a local 7-11 to get some cash out, and a conversation went something like this:

Kaelyn: Mommy, where are we?

Me: We're at 7-11

Kaelyn: Oh, you think that they might have slurpees here?

Me: Kaelyn, I think you know that they have slurpees here... you think it's a little cold for a slurpee?

All 3 kids in unison: NOOOOO!!!!

So we walk over to the slurpee machine. I was fumbling cups and lids for 3 children when I notice Bryce doing the pee pee dance. SIDE NOTE: My last mall trip consisted of SIX bathroom trips, which happens to be TWICE the number of stores that we went to, so before this errand, I insisted that everyone use the potty before we left. Of course, everyone INSISTED that they didn't have to go. Anyway, five minutes into our first stop, Bryce is hopping around like he's about to pee on the floor. The next conversation went like this:

Me: Bryce, do you have to go to the bathroom?

Bryce: Yeah, but I want Cherry and Coke.

Me: Drop the slurpee and go to the bathroom. It will still be here when you get back.

The bathroom was literally 3 feet away from the slurpee station... you turn the corner, and the men's was one one side, women on the other...

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Bryce, still doing the pee pee dance, comes hopping on over.

Me: What is that?

Bryce: I don't know

7-11 guy (frantically running over): It's the emergency exit

Me: BRYCE! You pushed open the emergency exit?

Bryce: I didn't see it!

Me: Seriously, you didn't see the big red bar with the sign that read "alarm will sound?"

Bryce: No, I didn't read the sign.

Me: Really, because you read "buy giftcards here" when we walked in.

Bryce: Oh.

Me: Go to the bathroom

Meanwhile, the 7-11 guy is fumbling around for the keys to turn the obnoxious alarm off. Turns out, the owner, who lives an hour away, has the keys. Meaning, the employees and the customers had to listen to the beeping for an HOUR! We said we were sorry, and left. Adam says that we should have stayed... but what good would I have been? In retrospect, I probably should have taken away the slurpees, or at least Bryce's slurpee, since they were all 3 slurping away during the lecture given by the guy at the checkout counter. Needless to say, we haven't been back since. Good thing they opened up that new one by walmart!

In the Past 24 Hours...

2009-12-01T22:54:00.004-06:00

Addison removed the ornaments from the bottom half of my tree...

Kaelyn bit Bryce (and drew blood) because he tried to pick those ornaments up...

Then, Kaelyn again reminded me about my "BIIIIIIIG BELLY!" (enough already, I get it)...

Oh, and when she thought no one was looking, she nonchalantly spit on Addison...

Why would she do that? "Because DD was crying on the ground" (well, I guess that's a good reason)...

The girls ate an ENTIRE zip lock bag of gummy bears in about 30 seconds because Bryce accidentally left them on the dining room table....

And Addison threw my Sidekick in the bucket of Oxyclean.

Oh. And I'm pretty sure that I have ornament glass stuck in the bottom of my foot.

YAY... Adam's ONE day off this week is tomorrow... I'm really not so great at being this out numbered!

What's Wrong with my Children!?!

2009-11-14T10:48:00.002-06:00

Conversation Adam had with Kaelyn:

Adam: Kaelyn, why's your arm all wet?

(couch cushions were stacked up by the fish tank and it was obvious she was playing in there)

Kaelyn: Um... Um... I went outside, and I sat in the car, and the seat was wet so my arm got wet.

Adam: Kaelyn, that's a lie. You did not go outside. Why is your arm wet?

Kaelyn: Um... Um... Addison took her pants off, then she took her diaper off, then she peed on the floor, then she peed on my arm, so it got wet.

Adam: And then Addison put her diaper and pants back on?

Kaelyn: Uh-huh

Adam: Go to time out.

Seriously, where does she come up with this stuff? And Bryce, the good one, just got in trouble at a friends house for throwing bricks over the fence... BRICKS! And, it was his idea.

What's Addison doing? Well, we went to the doctor. She's still 18 pounds. Her favorite thing to say is NO MA'AM (while she hits you)... and she's learning new things from her sister everyday.

Halloween Aftermath....

2009-11-02T18:46:00.002-06:00

"MOMMY!!! I am NOT eating candy."

Did she really think that I was going to fall for that?

HALLOWEEN!

2009-11-01T12:20:00.015-06:00

As always, the Halloween festivities lasted for days this year! A few of the highlights....

We had a great time at the pumpkin patch. Well, let me rephrase... the kids had a great time at the pumpkin patch. We usually like to go as a family, but it rained on all of Adam's off days, so I had the priveledge of taking all 3 kids, and Bryce's friend Hunter, by myself.

Because it had been raining so much, I made a completely WRONG shoe choice... I mean, who wears heels to the farm anyway?

Addison, was also not a very big fan of the mud. She really wanted to pick a pumpkin....

Then her hand got dirty...

So she was outta there :)

I guess the petting zoo and hay ride made up for it, because she even smiled for this picture!

Nana and Papa flew in (which is always very exciting) and they carved the pumpkins with the kids.

Kaelyn had to wash hers first... I guess it was muddy...

And Addison, again, was not a big fan of getting her hands dirty, so Papa had to carve hers. She's kinda hard to impress :)

The neighborhood rented a cotton candy and popcorn machine and we volunteered (Adam says he was volun-told), to make cotton candy for the kids.

The girls LOVED it!

I don't even think that love is the right word... it was more like OBSESSED. My mom tried to take a picture of the girls with my dad without cotton candy... um yeah, sorry Nana! That was not going to happen!

Once the candy came out, it was impossible to get any pictures. All I have to say is... Addison has QUITE a sweet tooth. Probably even worse than her mom :)

Notice how she's unable to take her eyes off Ryan's candy in the group picture.

This is pretty much what all of the pictures from Halloween look like...

So today, I bribed them with candy so I could get some good ones (well, as good as it was gonna get) with their costumes on. Just looking at the skittles wasn't good enough for Addison...

She had to physically hold them, and then all was well :)

Incase you were wondering, Addison is not a T-rex, or an alligator... Bryce was the knight, Kaelyn was the princess (duh!), and Addison was the girl dragon (said in the donkey's voice from shrek!).

A girl dragon that loves her some candy!

People of Walmart

2009-10-23T23:42:00.006-05:00

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/... a neighbor introduced me to this site a while back, and today I actually looked to see if Kaelyn made the cut. Since she's been peeing/pooping in her pants all day everyday, I took them all away, and she's down to just a few pairs of leggings :) The other day she actually came out in Addison's pajamas... hahaha... but I guess it hasn't gotten to the point yet where she's decided to start peeing in the potty again. Anyway, she dressed herself this morning, which wasn't a big deal because we weren't going to go anywhere, until I had 10 loads of laundry to do and zero dryer sheets. I told her to put on her shoes so we could go to walmart, and she came out in red cowboy boots... PERFECT shoes for a priceless outfit! As of this evening, her picture still wasn't posted on the site, but I wouldn't be surprised if I saw her there in the near future. The funny thing is... we really didn't get that many weird looks.

WOW how things change... well, sort of :)

2009-10-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

I'm really bad about backing up my pictures incase our computer crashes, so in effort to do that, I've been having a really great time looking at some old pictures. I came across these and had to share! It's amazing how much they have changed in two years... that is, they've gotten bigger, smarter, stronger, and are able to come up with much better ways to outsmart me on a daily basis. However, not much has changed in the personality department.

This was a photo session with Bryce and Kaelyn for our Christmas cards in 2007. Needless to say, Kaelyn wouldn't cooperate, so we asked Bryce to just sit there with his arm out hoping that I could quickly snap a picture before she slid back down and went about kicking and screaming at his feet.

Then, we got the idea to stand her up. She was scared of hights then, and wouldn't get down by herself. Does it surprise you that that didn't work either? Here is Kaelyn biting Bryce, while he cooperates and smiles for the camera.

And here is what we ended up sending out (did I mention that some things never change!)

Shortly after this photo session, Addison was born. Here is her first Christmas.

And here she is at 3 week old...

And here she is now... why is her face always so dirty :)

What a little miracle!

2009-10-20T09:35:00.002-05:00

Addison's hair is finally getting long enough that I can force it into 2 pigtails. So today, after breakfast, I did just that.

Kaelyn: Mommy, Addison looks like a GIRL!

Addison: AWWW, Man!

Trying to be Patient...

2009-10-17T11:41:00.004-05:00

If you've ever had a conversation with me, then you've heard a story about Kaelyn. That little girl is amazing. There is no other way to say it. She's witty, she's conniving, she LOVES being the center of attention, and she's so dramatic that she can bust out real tears like you wouldn't believe. AND... she's pretty, so it's so easy for her to bat those big brown eyes, and Adam (who doesn't deal with her all day) gives her whatever she wants, leaving me to be the disciplinarian. Boy, do we have some mom - daughter drama going on right now. I really try to laugh, and be grateful for her because I know that she is truly a blessing, but geez, she's only 3! What is she going to be like at 12? So yesterday was just one of those days... she woke up entirely too early, and from the time she opened her eyes, she had her mind made up that she wasn't going to be good. And when she sets her mind to something, there's no looking back. She pooped her pants (twice), cut up some of Bryce's school work, and when I put her in time out, she shook out Addison's milk all over the floor. We had company over last night, so I was really trying to clean... but it was like taking one step forward, and two steps back. I swept my floor 3 times because she kept dumping out the vacuum. She spit out her ice cream all over the floor after I mopped it. She refused to pick up her toys, so I did, and the second that I cleaned up her dollhouse, she knocked the entire thing on the floor. And to top it off, she colored all over the mural in her room, with permanent marker! This mural is literally 2 years in the making... we've had paint and color issues, and I have countless hours invested in it. You can see here where she tried to stay in the lines...

And here she just went for it!

I just feel like every time I take the time to make something for her, she can't wait for the perfect opportunity to mess it up. I painted her a pink table and decorated it with ribbon and tulle for her dollhouse... yeah, that lasted about a week. And, here is her toy chest, that I've already redone once.

I really try to spend time with her by taking her to playdates, and keeping her busy with school and dance. Is this a cry for attention? A power struggle? I just don't understand why she does it... and why she's not remorseful. Yesterday, I tried tough love, time out, pleading, negotiating... and I didn't know what else to do. So I went in my closet and called my mom and cried. It was that bad. But today, as she snuggles on my arm as I type, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for losing my patience, and I feel guilty for being so angry. I just don't know what I'm going to do with her.

Odds and Ends

2009-10-12T11:55:00.004-05:00

I'm starting to think that I'm only going to be able to shower on Adam's off days...

I like the idea of being dirty WAY more than I like cleaning up after the terrible twosome!

The evolution of the car...

The Fair!

Kaelyn loves Kobe... just like her mommy!

And when Bryce ran out of feed, he just picked it up off the floor... just like his daddy!

Addison has figured out how to get out of her sleepers....

Hope there's not another poop situation!

When They Come Home...

2009-10-02T08:40:00.002-05:00

This morning Fox and Friends, did a story on a Marine who wrote a book about his struggles in Fallujah. As most of you know, Adam was in that battle, and almost five years later, it is still difficult for me to cope with... I can't even fathom what it must be like for him. So thank you, Derek Sholl, for writing this song. It feels as though you are speaking directly to my family. As the five year anniversary of the Battle of Fallujah approaches, please keep my husband, his fellow marines, and the families of the fallen in your prayers. November always proves to be difficult.

At Least it Wasn't Pee This Time!

2009-10-01T22:20:00.002-05:00

Adam had the night off last night, and for once, we didn't have a single thing to do... so we put the kids down, and started watching a movie. A movie that we've started and stopped 4 different times, so I, for one was excited to finally get through it. About 15 minutes into it, we hear Addison scream. Not the "I'm hurt" or the "I'm sad" scream, but the "you really pissed me off scream." I looked at Adam, laughed, and told him that Kaelyn must have thrown something in her crib. Kaelyn sleeps with her infamous piggy, and Addison absolutely HATES to sleep with anything besides her pillow. Since Kaelyn is, well, Kaelyn, I often find her stockpiling whatever she can find into Addison's crib. 5 minutes after the scream, Kaelyn walks in.

Me: Kaelyn, did you throw a bunch of things in Addison's crib?
Kaelyn: Nope, just one.

Can't fault the girl for being honest!

Adam walks into the girls room, and comes back with Addison in his arms.

Adam: KAELYN! What did you dump on Addison?
Kaelyn: Just one glass of water.

At least it wasn't pee this time!

2009-09-28T13:22:00.005-05:00

My constant threats finally made the girls realize that it's not a good idea to flush things down the toilet. Well, it was either my threats or flushing their toys finally became boring for them. My guess is probably the latter, but either way, here's what I found in the fireplace this morning...

A Typical Night in the Earls House

2009-09-22T19:41:00.006-05:00

Bryce doesn't like to get his fingers sticky. That is why, tonight, he ate a rice krispie treat with a bowl and spoon. Addison, my little opportunist, thought she would take advantage of the situation, and snatch the treat right off his spoon. After all, she had already finished hers. And she doesn't mind sticky fingers at all!

And then she ran away with it.

Until she could finally eat it.

Bryce who refuses to eat anything with "baby slobber" on it, was really sad. (This is not at all re-enacted)

And Kaelyn, who surprisingly stayed out of it all, just danced around in her daddy's shirt. (Which is better than no shirt!)

And, if you can look past my unmade bed, here is the result...

Doesn't she look happy with Rice Krispie hanging from her chin :)

Bringing our White Trash-ness to a Whole New Level!

2009-09-08T17:12:00.005-05:00

Before I begin the story about the trashiest family at Meet the Teacher, let me just say how wonderful it feels to have my laptop back!

For about a week, my phone and laptop were being repaired at the same time, leaving me with no email whatsoever. And when I say a week, I mean 2 days, but Adam forgot to tell me that he put a box from UPS in the coat closet, so there it stayed , until I called T-Mobile (which still didn't refresh his memory!) and they told me that it had been delivered 5 days earlier. Anyway, during that internet-less week, we were supposed to hear about the exact time we were to be at Kaelyn's new preschool for Meet the Teacher on Sunday. Well, needless to say, I did not get that email. I called and left a message on Saturday, and again on Sunday, and did not hear back. I got Kaelyn all dressed up in a really cute back to school dress, braided her hair in pigtails, and waited. I had to run some afternoon errands, so I left the kids with Adam (that's a KEY part of the story), and decided to do a quick drive-by and see if anyone was at the preschool. Well... EVERYONE was at the preschool. Apparently, Meet the Teacher was going to start in 7 minutes. So, I called Adam, told him to pile the girls into the car and head on over. I was in the parent room listening to the presentation, when I heard (and for those of you that know Adam... when he talks, he is definitely HEARD) my little family stumbling into the kid classroom. It wasn't until after the presentation when I met them in the classroom that I realized the full magnitude of the situation. Kaelyn, in her beautiful dress, had her dirty, disgusting, too small outside shoes on. Her hair was falling out of both braids with two mis-matched bows on both sides of her head trying to hold it back (neither bow matched the dress by the way). Her face was covered in cheetos. I look over to my husband, standing there in his green Sloppy Joe's Key West shirt, with a blue and red braves hat on. Oh... and he also had on HOLEY SHORTS!!! Not just a small hole. A softball sized hole in the side, revealing his boxers, along with a good sized hole right next to his crotch area. And bleach stains. They also had bleach stains. Sure, they used to be nice shorts before he did yard work and worked on cars in them. Now, they are just holey, stained shorts. And Addison, who's face was also covered in cheetos, was running around the classroom barefoot. AND ADAM WAS IN HOLEY SHORTS!!! I seriously don't think that I will ever get that picture out of my head. I realize that my kids are half Georgia hick, and eventually, that side always emerges a little, but seriously, on the first day of school?!? To top it all off, we ended our visit like this:

Remember, Adam is practically deaf in one ear, and yells without realizing it.

Me: nice shorts.

Adam: WHAT? YOU TOLD ME TO HURRY.

Me: (whispering and talking with my mouth half closed) we'll talk about it later.

Adam: WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME? WHAT DID I DO?

This is where I gave him the "shut-up" glare.

Adam: (slapping his hands to his side) OH GREAT, NOW YOU'RE MAD AT ME.

And all of the parents just watched... and then everyone left and got i their car... and instructed their kids not to play with mine.

I would LOVE to share a picture with all of you, but if he couldn't get the girls dressed, he definitely couldn't remember the camera!

Today I plunged a fork and a comb out of the toilet.

2009-08-04T22:42:00.003-05:00

Kaelyn informed me that there's also a makeup brush down there. Still looking for it. I'm really looking forward to the fact that Adam's working the next 7 days straight. Bring on the wine.

My Onery Butt Girl...

2009-08-03T23:44:00.007-05:00

I know that the title probably speaks for itself, but let me set the scene for you....

The other day, Kaelyn wanted to play with my camera. After hearing a story about how a friend's daughter broke her camera, I decided that it probably wasn't the best idea.

Kaelyn: But I WWAAAANNNT it!
Me: I said no.
Kaelyn: (a lot screaming inserted here)
Me: Kaelyn, please get out of my room if you're going to yell.
Kaelyn: (amazingly calm, but with fierce attitude in her eyes) Well I'm gonna be an ornery butt girl!

And... since at some point during the day I came up with the bright idea to take a shower... she definitely was.

Playing a little catch up...

2009-07-17T22:32:00.005-05:00

Well, since we have been "vacationing" for the last month or so (and when I say vacationing, I mean visiting family), a good blog is probably long overdo. We started out in Georgia, where the kids had a great time visiting with their cousins and playing in the country, which basically means that they spent a lot of time doing white trash, redneck things that they don't normally get to do. Bryce road a 4-wheeler, shot his BB gun, and checked out a dead opossum that Adam had to shoot because it had rabies. Kaelyn was a little leery of all the bugs at first, and I was so proud to let everyone know that she was a city girl like her mama, but it didn't take long before she was off-roding in the back of a truck and helping Bryce catch tadpoles. Poor thing came home with at least 30 bug bites. Addison mostly hung out with Grandma, not for lack of trying though. She just stared out the window watching them play, and I'm sure that next year I'll be chasing three kids around the pasture. She did take her first series of steps in Georgia, and by the time we got home from California, she was walking from room to room.

We had a birthday party for Kaelyn in Georgia, and somehow, she ended up topless in the pool (and when I say pool, I mean giant pink blow up thing from last year that Adam had to patch up), while Addison danced on the table. I really hope this isn't a preview of things to come.

Adam and I had the chance to sneak away for a long weekend in Florida, which was fun.

And we had a family trip to stone mountain, the largest exposed granite surface in the world (Adam would be SO proud that I put that boring fact in for all of you).

Kaelyn had a great time playing with her cousin on the mountain...

...until she fell out of a tree.

Good thing daddy manned up and licked all the dirt off her sucker.

Not sure who's bright idea it was to walk down the mountain with 4 kids, but it really wasn't a great one. This is how it ended up. If you're wondering where Bryce is, he's about 20 yards behind and whining, because he too had taken a fall.

This is me, having a REALLY great time.

Addison really did have fun.... I guess because she got to ride in the backpack.

After we got home from Georgia, we had about 4 days of rest, and then headed out to California. We went to Disneyland...every kid's dream, right?

Well, Kaelyn had a meltdown... shocking, I know.

Don't worry, she was happy again when we got on another ride... she is just so much like her mom!

I ended up taking the girls home for a nap, and Bryce hung out with papa from sun up to sun down. When I took Kaelyn back, I forgot my camera, so I really don't have too many pictures to share from Disneyland.

Kaelyn had another princess party, which she thoroughly enjoyed! She loves dress up and all things girly, and she especially loves being the center of attention, so she couldn't have been any happier.

It was a great time, as evidenced by the fact that Addison's clothes came up missing and we found a princess shoe in the planter.

In true princess form, Kaelyn has mastered the head tilt.

She has also become quite a picture taker, and she us usually pretty good at hiding it because I don't realize until my battery is dead and 50-100 pictures that I didn't take end up on my camera. Sure, you get several odd things, like this door.

But apparently, she uses her cuteness to get people (mostly adults) to pose silly positions while she takes their picture.
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She has also mastered the self-portrait. I mean, seriously, could she be any more like me? It's amazing!

We had a family day at the beach. It was a fun idea until we got there and remembered all the work that went into going to the beach.

Adam was actually happy to get a little work-out in, as he said it made him look more pumped up... notice him flexing his stomach muscles (let me pause for a second while I giggle to myself). I saw a really cute picture of a family on the beach with their last name spelled out in the sand. It looked amazing, and absolutely nothing like this, but after the waves washed my writing away a gazillion times, and the kids refused to cooperate, here is our attempt. Don't forget to look for the stomach muscles... Seriously, it's a really good thing that I'm typing rather than talking as I find it hard to contain my laughter.

We spent all day there and the kids really did have an excellent time.

It's good to be home!

Little Boys...

2009-07-03T10:52:00.001-05:00

When Bryce was little, he was just so dang cute, and polite, and clean. Now he's all about everything gross... like bugs, dead bugs in particular, and mud, and poop... think of the grossest thing you can, and I'm sure he's touched it, played with, or made a potion with it.

Dog poop thrown over the fence at the neighbor... check!

Dead beetle guts smashed down the slide to see what they look like... check!

Smashed dead bee guts (which my very observant son will tell you look just beetle guts)... check!

DEAD BIRD that he picked up and took home while on a walk with my uncle... check!

So, about an hour or two into our drive home from Georgia, he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie with two frogs in it. One of Bryce's favorite things to do on the farm is catch tadpoles, put them in Grandpa's fish tank, raise them until they turn into frogs, and release them. Well... Grandpa said that he better take real good care of these two, and take them home to Texas. Thanks Grandpa! So, we took the frogs out of the baggie and put them into a cooler. When we got home, Bryce did a really good job of making a pretty cool habitat in a pickle jar. He catches flies and crickets and feeds them. Despite his efforts though, he will be releasing them tonight, before he goes to California. Nice try.

It's Official...

2009-06-10T16:06:00.001-05:00

Addison is no longer allowed to take a nap without pants on! She has figured out how to remove her diaper, and apparently picked up a new hobby... throwing and smearing poop. I went to grab my camera to share the graphic details with you fine folks, but then I remembered that I can no longer take pictures. Why, you ask? Because last week after I uploaded some pictures I made the mistake of not putting my sim card right away. Kaelyn took it down and lost it. Addison found it (where, I couldn't tell you) and put it in her mouth and cracked it. They make a fine team, don't they?

QUICK - SOMEBODY CALL SUPER NANNY... Addison is completely out of control!

2009-06-02T22:32:00.000-05:00

So, we all know Addison's story... born 3 months early, and a fighter from the start. She exceeded all of our expectations, and became our superstar. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not truly thankful for my little miracle. Now, putting that all aside, when will she stop fighting? She's 17 months old now, and about half the size of her peers, yet she is the one who is ALWAYS making everyone cry. I had her her in the stroller with Jake the other day. He's a couple months younger and a good 15 pounds heavier. He kept yelling out and I couldn't figure out why, until I caught Addison pulling his hair just to hear him scream. Sitting back, foot resting on the cup holder, thumb in mouth, and pulling hair. Today, as I took down the towel rack to paint the bathroom, she decided to pick up the hardware, crawl over to him, and hit him on the head with it. Not just once either. Repeated hits on the head while I ran to stop it. Are you freaking kidding me? It's not so much what she does, but the look on her face while she does it. She's flat out mean....the biggest little bully you have EVER seen. I have to admit, there are times when I love her fighting spirit. I know it won't be long before she's fighting all Kaelyn's battles. I just wish that she could be nice every now and then. Because she's really not nice, at all. Ever.

Kaelyn's Eye Surgery

2009-05-21T13:40:00.001-05:00

So far, everything appears to be a success! Besides the redness that could last a couple weeks, we haven't seen her eyes crossing or wandering out at all, and she's even keeping her fingers out of them. The sugery actually isn't phasing her one bit, and she kind of seems oblivious to the fact that she even had it, except for she's getting presents and lots of extra attention. She was quite a little character yesterday. After they gave her the goofy juice, she put on quite a show singing to the staff, and all of the 8o year old patients that were lined up in the beds next to us. Gotta love her!

So... why are all my blogs about Kaelyn?

2009-05-18T19:28:00.000-05:00

She squeezed her fingers through the child locks today and painted her toes.

Isn't that nice?

2009-05-12T11:34:00.000-05:00

So, finally, after 8 years, I have converted adam into a diet soda drinker. This does not go over well in my OCD-filled house...

Kaelyn: Daddy, quit drinking mama's drink.

Adam takes a big drink

Adam: I like mama's drink.

Kaelyn: You no like mama's drink. You like beer. Go drink some beer.

I live in a house full of girls.

2009-04-30T22:52:00.000-05:00

And even if there are two boys in the house, it doesn't matter. There are still THREE girls. Four, if you include Cali. I live across the street from Jayden. He's two. He's a boy. He's good. I watch him play outside and have flash backs of Bryce running around and everything is so uncomplicated. And then I look in my own yard, and Kaelyn is pushing Addison out of her car, but Addison is holding on with a good chunk of Kaelyn's hair, and both are crying. With girls there's just so much, well, drama. Today, right smack in the middle of swine flu country, Kaelyn licked the drinking fountain in Target. Picture it in slow motion... me, dropping the ice cream I just bought, running towards her saying, "don't you dare, Kaelyn Grace, don't you even think about it." And Kaelyn.... planning it all out, her mom was turned the other way, it was the perfect opportunity, running, blond hair blowing... she reaches out, her tongue touches bare metal... she made it. Then, realizing that she did it, that she actually did it, she remembers to push the button for water to come out. And I sigh. It's over. I lose. She wins. This, mind you, came after an hour of her screaming behind the basket as I pushed it through Target. Bryce and Addison were in a good mood. Everyone just ignored her. Well, everyone besides the poor innocent people who were minding their business just trying to shop in peace. We went about our shopping, not even looking at her, knowing that she was there because we could hear her crying behind us about God knows what. And in the end, she sure showed me. That's what it was all about in the first place, right? I can't imagine her being that thirsty. Or the drinking fountain water tasting that good. With two girls who are more stubborn than their very stubborn mommy, it is a constant power struggle in my house. I have to admit, sometimes, it's really pretty funny. And sometimes, it's really not. Adam (the guy who gets to escape it all) loves to remind me that I need to enjoy it. And I do. And some days, like today, I definitely do not :)

2009-04-29T10:34:00.000-05:00

What I found in the kid's bathroom this morning...

And Adam wonders what I do all day.

Alright, so I'm not so great at this blogging thing!

2009-04-21T20:56:00.001-05:00

I must admit, it's a lot harder to keep up with this than I originally anticipated. I have; however, gotten a TON of requests to hear some more stories about my crazy children. And there have been so many times where something funny happened, and I should have logged on to tell all of you about it, but was either busy or lazy. For example:

Conversation Bryce had with Nana

Nana: Cali (the dog), you're getting fat. You're butt is big.
Bryce: That's cause she's a GIRL!

Duh, Nana, all girls have big butts!

OR...
Last night, Kaelyn dumped an entire bag of popcorn on the floor, and refused to pick it up. She loves to get a rise out of me. I calmly informed her that I wasn't going to feed her again until she picked it up. Needless to say, we went to bed last night with popcorn on the floor, woke up for breakfast this morning, went into the kitchen and the "oh crap" look on her face was priceless. After her 30 minute meltdown, she picked up the popcorn. Score one for mommy!

So, in a nutshell, here are the last four months...

Bryce started (and finished) the basketball season with an UNDEFEATED record!

And, as a result of this new found ALL-TIME FAVORITE SPORT, Santa decided to bring him a gigantic arcade-style basketball game. Santa did not think to put it together upstairs where it goes, so it stayed right smack in the middle of my living room for two months, until Adam took it apart and brought it upstairs. Thanks, Santa ;)

Bryce is one of the top readers in his class. I always get complimented on how smart and sweet he is. He is LOVING kindergarten, but pretty ready to be a first grader. I'm really looking forward to having all 3 kids at home with me this summer (note the sarcasm in my tone).

He is also in the middle of a bet with his friends at school. What do kindergartners bet about, you ask? Who's mommy will make them cut their hair first. It's down to just him and one other kid. And apparently, Fischer's mommy doesn't like to lose either. It made for some interesting Easter pictures, but Adam managed to make it look acceptable.

I said that no matter what, at least we get to cut in when school gets out. Adam said that if I make him cut it this summer, it'll be the worst thing ever when Fischer comes to school next year with a pony tail... he loves to mess with my competitive side!

Kaelyn, well, she's still Kaelyn. There's really no other way to describe it. My mom says that she's just quite a little character, but that doesn't even come close to defining her. She's smart, but in such a different way than Bryce... more conniving and witty. She throws huge fits, just about every hour, on the hour. We just mostly ignore her.

She can be REALLY sweet at times...

And REALLY ornery too

The other day I couldn't figure out why Addison was crying every time I left the room. When I asked Kaelyn why, she had no idea what I was talking about. Well... after a little spying, it turns out that every time I left, Kaelyn sat on Addison. Just flat out straddled her so she couldn't move. She never ceases to amaze me.

OH! And she started ballet, and absolutely loves it... unless Adam takes her. Then, it's the worse thing ever and she's REALLY sad that she had to go, and she cries the ENTIRE time so Adam holds her... and he does!
She sure likes to wear her tutu though!

Addison is now WAY bigger than that damn poodle!

She is a climber like you wouldn't believe and into EVERYTHING!

She's still not walking though. I know she can. She just messes with me. She does say mama though, which is a HUGE plus since Kaelyn called me lady until she was almost 2! It's funny how all 3 of my kids are completely different. She's either so calm and laid back, or just flat out mean. She already makes Kaelyn cry because she fights back. Kaelyn has size on her, but Addison definitely gets in a good smack or hair pull.

I took the kids to their first protest on tax day!

They had a great time. The best part is the fact that Bryce could totally debate someone on the issues. He asked me today why we have a mayor, and I did my best at explaining it. Then he said that Daddy should run for mayor, actually that daddy should run for president so he can lower our taxes :) Gotta love it... another right wing extremist is born!

Ok, I will try to be better about this so I don't have to sit up here for two hours and blog... Plus I'm forgetting great stuff, I'm sure! Oh well, at least it gives me an excuse to crack open the bottle of wine my neighbor brought me :)

And so it begins...

2009-01-15T23:49:00.000-06:00

SO.... being that I live so far away from friends and family, and I get so many questions about the kids, I have decided to start a blog. Amongst all the other things that all of you like to laugh at me about, add "blogger" to that list. Although I've been thinking about this for quite some time now, I decided this morning that today would have to be the day that this begins, and here's why...

7:00am

Kaelyn: I want cake. (she calls donuts cake)

I give her 1 donut

Kaelyn: I want more cake. (mind you, she hasn't even finished her first one)
Me: Eat your eggs
Kaelyn: Mine no want eggs. Mine want cake.
Me: Eat your eggs and tomorrow you can have another donut.

Kaelyn gets down from the table. Bryce, in the mean time is on his third donut. They are only the mini kind from the bag at the grocery store, and he likes a big breakfast. He had already eaten pancakes, eggs, and yogurt. So Kaelyn is mad that Bryce got 3 donuts, and she only got 1, plus Adam took Bryce to school without letting her come along since it was 18 degrees outside this morning, so we did not get off to a very good start.

2 hours later. Adam is gone. I'm cleaning out the girls' closet.

Kaelyn gets her stool, climbs up, and gets down the donuts. As most of you know, Bryce is REALLY freaked out about eating or drinking after another person. He refuses to eat anything if Kaelyn so much as touches it. So... being the clever little thing that she is... she proceeds to line the donuts, one by one around the coffee table. The ENTIRE bag! And no, she wasn't finished yet. After lining them up, she decided to take just ONE bite out of each and every one. That's Kaelyn. Silent but deadly.

An unsuspecting me comes walking down the hall, only to find the trail of powdered sugar, and the organized mess in my living room.

Me: KAELYN! What are you doing?
Kaelyn: Mine eat cake. Bubba no eat cake.

And so is the story of my life...