#ihopethekidsgetmynose

I Should Have Been More Specific

Kaelyn's kindle is linked to our accounts.  

This is awesome - she plays draw something with nana, and she emails me super cute pictures of herself. 

This is also NOT awesome - Addison bought $20 worth of Fresh Beat Band episodes before I realized that I should exercise my rights to parental controls...
...and Kaelyn has access to all my music.

Since Nana bought Kaelyn a really spiffy set of new headphones (remind me to blog about that story if you see me!), I had no idea that she was listening to such inappropriateness until...

 

"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack." 

These are words you really don't care to hear from your barely 7 year old. 

Cue Adam's "I should have been more specific" conversation with me:

 

"I always thought I wanted to come home to panties on the floor. Dora is not really doing it for me...I should have been more specific" - upon coming out of our guest bathroom.

 

"I always thought I was going to be blessed with a house full of boys, and I'm going to have one for all the wrong reasons.  I should have been more specific."

"I always thought that girls had a place in law enforcement...until Addison told me that she wanted to be a cop.  I should have been more specific."

 

"I always thought waking up to 3 girls in my bed would be really cool.  I should have been more specific...especially when I end up waking up in a puddle of pee"

I was seriously in tears from laughing so hard after all of that when he reminded me that his "only goal in life" is to "keep them off the pole." 

 

Everyone thinks that the Earls Girls (and their attitude) are MY bad karma...I really think they're his ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Adam: "Addison, shouldn't you be cleaning your room?"
Addison: "But I just want to drum on your belly for a bit"

 

Me: "Bryce, what makes me a worse parent?...."

 

Bryce: "You...having this conversation with me."

 

Gotta love role reversal with the 10 year old.

 

Bryce's Advice

"If I were you Kaelyn, I'd just talk about it now.  That way, you don't have to talk about it with Daddy." - After a long day of meltdowns while Adam is out of town.

Bryce's Advice:

Don't park under a tree during migrating season.

Kaelyn: Mommy, Liam told me a secret. 

Me: oh yeah?

Kaelyn: Yeah, he has crushes on me.

Me: Oh really?  What does that mean?

Kaelyn: I don't know, because I just ran from him.

Adam: Keep on running.

So...I'm Sleeping on the Couch Tonight...Foweel

I'll never forget the first time Bryce came to my rescue.  He was four years old, and as I spotted a spider crawling up my wall, I yelled for him to get me a shoe.  I couldn't get myself a shoe...we all know what happens when you take your eyes off a spider.  Completely confused, he came running in, and then smashed the spider with his bare hand.  "What's the big deal mommy, it's only a spider,"  he said half relieved/half confused as to why something so minimal sent me into a panic.

As I was picking up laundry tonight, something scurried across my floor under another piece of clothing.  I quickly did what I always do, and called for Bryce.  He came running in, I picked up the piece of clothing, and the "thing" quickly dashed under my bed.

Bryce: Quick, get me a flashlight.

Cue an Adam Story:

My pack rat/gear hoarding husband has a million "high quality" flashlights that he's accumulated over the years.  Apparently, high quality means rechargable, and none of them are ever charged...  Which is why I don't even bother trying to make them work anymore.  We had a power outage yesterday, and I completely ignored the FIVE flashlights in my nightstand and lit a few candles.

Kaelyn, also ignoring the flashlights, came to Bryce's rescue with some light-up toy from Disneyland, but they still could not find the lizard under my bed.  

The conversation that followed went something like this:

Bryce: When you said it was fast, I thought, "Duh, German Cockroach," but it was definitely some sort of lizard.

(Well, DUH! who doesn't think about German Cockroaches at a time like this?)

Me: Wasn't it just like the lizards you were playing with in the backyard the other day?

(You, know...the HARMLESS ones)

Bryce: No.  It's an unknown species, and I thought I knew all lizard species.  

(True story.  Not only does he own countless books, but he's an Animal Planet enthusiast.)

Bryce: Why were you so scared of it anyway?

Me: Because I didn't know what it was.

Bryce: That makes sense.  Plus it was small.  And many small creatures are extremely venomous.

So hopefully, this small, venomous lizard of an unknown species does not come and eat me tonight in my sleep!

Since Adam has been home, he's been helping a lot with the child raising situation...giving me somewhat of a "break."  Every Tuesday, Bryce comes home with his Tuesday Communication Folder.  All of the paperwork is distributed then, and you sign stating that you've received it.  Adam has signed it two Tuesday's in a row, and needless to say, it hasn't gone off without a hitch.

We spent the past few days in the mountains of California celebrating a great friend's wedding, and have had virtually no cell phone reception or internet.  Occasionally, my phone will beep, and I can read emails.  I got one from Bryce's teacher stating that he's missing a permission slip for a field trip, and that it was due that day.  Since we were in California, that was pretty impossible.  I told Adam that he better find a way to contact her, and then went on with the wedding day festivities.

Fast forward to tonight:

As I'm catching up on my emails, Adam asks if I'm almost done...

Me: Almost.  Let me just email Bryce's teacher about the field trip.  Actually, why don't you email her?

Adam: Nope.  I already left her an intoxicated voicemail at the wedding.  

As is the story of my life...

I went to a museum? WITHOUT Adam??? Wierd.

Since Adam has been gone, I've encountered several firsts.  I packed the car for the first time.  I put weed and feed on the lawn for the first time.  I got the camping gear out of the attic, and the fishing gear out of the garage.  I put up the Christmas lights, and I even learned how to work the TV.  The list seriously goes on forever.  Today, I took the kids to a science museum.  If you know me, then you know that I have absolutely NO interest in ANYTHING.  "Foweel,"  as Addison would say.  Ok, well...maybe I like some things, like celebrities.  Or fashion.  Or even some charitable causes or political happenings.  But the majority of the time, I find most all things at least slightly boring.   ESPECIALLY if those things have to do with nature, or history, or geography, or animals, or walking a lot.  So this museum thing was kind of a big deal.

I mostly just chased the kids around, and didn't try to "teach" them anything like Adam does, but I did take some pictures of the info...just in case they (read Bryce) ask questions later.


Kaelyn, who could not be any more like her mama, insisted on wearing the most inappropriate shoes... and still conquered the rock wall.





Bryce's favorite part, BY FAR, was the fossil scavenger hunt.



The girls played along too...






...but got bored pretty quickly. 



Bryce was determined to finish as the people who "completed their mission" got a fossil.  The girls and I ate goldfish in the shade as he worked for a good hour.  He was so proud when he finished, and when he went to collect his prize, the staff member gave the girls a prize too... I guess for being pretty because they accomplished absolutely nothing. haha.

The kids got caught in a sandstorm just like Daddy.




Texas has traumatized Kaelyn and she wouldn't go anywhere near the tornado.





Addison made a composite drawing of her daddy all by herself.




BFF's.





Kaelyn, my Little Mama, spent most of her time in the grocery store.




She actually completed the grocery mission three different times, and earned her picture on the wall of fame. Bummer that she wasn't tall enough...guess she needs higher heels next time.




Being in California, we're surrounded by liberals. We embraced that and played their recycle game. After all, we LOVE a good competition.




We lost once...




But we pulled it together!




I had to use one of my veto's on Bryce and Kaelyn's "who can keep their hand on the ice the longest" competition. It wasn't pretty.




Last stop: gift shop. "One will be so yummy in my tummy, and one will last foreva."



Better hurry home, Adam.  Besides dealing with tarantulas and snakes and mice...we pretty much don't even need you :)

Addison Says...

"Papa is old, nana is a little bit old, but grandma and grandpa are really, really old."

"I share a room with Kaelyn, and you share a room with daddy, but Bryce has his own room because he doesn't have a best friend."

"I don't like you.  Foweel."

"I really miss daddy's big comfy belly"

"I will try not to pee pee in your bed"


"I don't even like icecream.  My belly just really needs it."


"How come Auntie wants to swim with me?  Because I'm a really good time?"

Bryce's Advice

Eenie Meenie Miney Mo will not solve all of your problems.

Addison: "Bryce, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

 

Bryce: "No."

 

Addison:  "Then what smells?"

I am way behind with my blogging! This is probably because an updated status on facebook is much easier, but this one is too good not to share with those of you without a facebook (Uncle Owen).

In the car on the way to school Monday:

Kaelyn: Mommy, I forgot to turn in my lunch money, so I spent it on power hour. (power hour is junk food that they sell at school twice a month)

Me: Well that's a bummer, did you get a cheese sandwich? (If their lunch account is in a negative standing, they get 2 pieces of white bread and a piece of processed cheese)

Kaelyn: No, I got a corn dog. I just told them to charge Bryce's account.

Corndog AND power hour? Life doesn't get any better than that. Unless of course your Bryce. That girl is so clever and resourceful!

Fall Cleaning

In case you haven't heard, Adam is in Baghdad for a year. Me, being the optimist that I am ;), have decided to make the best out of the situation by making it my mission to rid my house of all of Adam's hoarding. He has, in fact, acquired quite a few things in the 5 years that we've been in Texas. Today, I was going through Bryce's school work, deciding what I should and should not keep, when I came across this journal entry - a DEFINITE keeper!

In case you can't read it, is says:

January 5, 2010

My favrite thing I did during Chrismas Brake is selobrating New Year in Calofornya. We had over 34 people come over for New Year! We nerly exploded the back yard! And then the confety came out along with sily string. The adolts played flip cup all night.

Awesome with a capital A! And also extremely grateful that he did not mention the beer pong!

What do your children do all night?

Apparently mine eat pistachios...




And shave.

My Addison

Do you think it would have taken just as much energy for her to put her shoes away in her closet like she was asked?

Addison: Mommy, I need water.

Me: Can you use your stool?

Addison: No my baby is on it.

Kaelyn: Um, mommy, that's your toothbrush.

Me: Addison, quit using my toothbrush!

Addison: I want to use the toothbrush my baby used.

Awesome.

Spring Break - Kaelyn and Addison Style

Where do they come up with this stuff?

Wii bowling is one of our favorite things to do. Kaelyn wasn't doing so great tonight, and obviously, it was the character's fault and not her own.

Kaelyn: Bryce, I don't want to be her. I want to be that boy in the white shirt you made me.

Bryce: Kaelyn, that wasn't a boy, it was a really ugly girl.

To be ugly, or to be sucky? Decisions, decisions ;)